Scott and Bridget met in 1993 and were married in 2001. In September of 2003 we welcomed our first miracle, James. 16 months later we brought home our second miracle, Annie. And in October of 2006 our family was complete with miracle #3, Gracie. Rett syndrome entered our lives when Annie was diagnosed on May 19, 2006. This is the life of the MacDonald family as we juggle 3 small children and battle Rett Syndrome until Gods perfect time when we are cured.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Thoughts on the Trail

Tonight I was blessed to get out alone and do a long run on the paint creek trail. I love running. I started running when I was 14 years old. I’ve taken time off, you know, to give birth to my kids and what not ;) but I’ve always come back to it. I run for exercise and to keep in shape but also because it’s therapeutic and spiritual for me. My days are busy so it’s not often that I get time to just think, but I get to do that when I’m alone running.
Tonight I started out my run and thought about what a miracle it is that I am able to perform that act. It sounds silly but I actually started praying and thanking God for my legs – legs that are so strong that they can actually hold me up when I’m standing, that I can place one foot in front of the other without even thinking about it. That I’m actually able to run, jump and skip – what a miracle. I continued running and passed by a couple walking and lifted my hand to wave and said “hi”. I then thought about my hands and thanked God again, for hands that are able to wave hello and hold onto this water bottle and bring it up to my mouth for a drink. Hands that are so capable that they can actually shoo that fly away and scratch that itch on my shoulder. I thought about my voice when I said “hi” and thanked God for it. To be able to say “hi” is a miracle! And to sing along with this radio that I’m listening to (when there’s no one around of course) – Thank you God! My head was racing now with all of the many things that I take for granted each day and I became overwhelmed with thankfulness. Thank you for allowing me to breath (all though I’m gasping now) regularly without even thinking about it. Thank you that I’m able to run in 80 degree weather and my body is able to handle the heat. Thank you that my blood circulates and I don’t feel the sting and numbness of poor circulation. Thank you God that I’m able to eat with my mouth and not through a tube, that miraculously my body digests and absorbs nutrients. By now I’m completely overwhelmed and almost in tears because as you can probably guess I’ve been thinking of my little Annie who is unable to experience all of these things that I so selfishly take for granted. Its beginning to get hard to fight back the tears now and I’m about to slow down to a walk when I actually felt a push as though God was telling me “keep going, I’m with you”. Well, I did, I kept going, this time just looking at the scenery and enjoying the music. After a few minutes I was calm again, no longer on the verge of tears and I decided to pick up my prayer. “Help me to always see the blessings around me that far exceed my problems. Thank you for all the miracles that I take for granted every minute of every day. Father God in your infinite grace and mercy heal my daughter so she is able to experience all of these miracles, but until your perfect time, promise me that you will grab her little, calloused hand and stay with her. Help her to keep going no matter how hard it gets.”

I actually wrote this second paragraph down for myself the other night because it was so powerful for me and I wanted to always remember this moment. But then I thought that in this day and age when the economy is so poor and things are looking so grim it’s easy to get caught up in the “woo is me” and forget all of things to be thankful for. Although thinking this and writing the words were painful I think it had a positive outcome and actually lifted my spirit. It makes me think of how capable I am and refreshed me in my fight to help get these things for my daughter. I hope that whoever reads this is also uplifted and refreshed or maybe you just think I’m completely nuts, either way! ;0)

3 comments:

  1. Bridget, that moved me to tears. Thank you for the reminder as well. It is such a fine line between being thankful for the blessings and so sad and frustrated at the suffering our girls endure. I am so glad God gave Annie to you - you are such an amazing mommy to all your kiddos! Together WE WILL GET OUR CURE!! God uses our girls to touch so many lives....but I must admit - I am ready to have her back; whole and healthy - running and jumping singing and shouting.....Hugs to you and to Annie tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for that reminder. I try so hard to stay focused on all the positive things that Juliana is doing, but it doesn't take much some days to go back to crying and "why her". After a rough night last night, thanks again for the reminder. I need it every once in awhile.

    ReplyDelete
  3. love this post! thanks for the beautiful reminder!

    ReplyDelete