So I had the most amazing dream the other night - which is weird because I was spent and typically you don't dream when you're that exhausted - but anyways, in my dream Annie was sitting at the table (in a "real" chair, not her special chair) and was using a pencil to write her name. The dream was so vivid and so real. I've often dreamt of Annie walking, running, talking, singing (by the way she has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard), and dancing. But writing, that was a little different. In my dream I remember looking at her and feeling a lump in my throat, and tears pouring down my cheeks. In the dreams where Annie walks and talks I'm never that emotional, but seeing her write her name, just took my breath away. I have always prayed that Annie would be completely healed, that rett syndrome would be totally reversible but it always seems like I think about walking and talking and am never really able to wrap my head around any more than that. This dream was so encouraging, as if God was showing exactly what His perfect time was going to bring.
I can only imagine Annie being able to turn the pages of this book.
I have a few New Years Resolutions in mind but one in particular I am really going to try hard for - to stop being so controling. I know what you're thinking - "you, controling? No Way!!" - but I assure you I am a control freak! :) I have this tendency to try to take everything on, never letting anyone help because I need to have it done in my own way and what winds up happening is that I realize I can't do everything and then I'm just frustrated. I am going to try hard to not only ask for help when I need it and actually allow people to help me even if they aren't my clones and have different ways of doing things. I am also going to try to leave things to God, trusting that His ways are best (even if I can't see that right now) and to not interfere with what He has planned because, as my dream pointed out to me, His blessings are far to great for me to even hope for.
I pray that 2010 brings about wonderful blessings for all of us. Greater faith, health, and prosperity. I pray that Gods perfect time is coming and that in 2010 even the things we haven't dared to hope and dream for Annie and all the girls and women suffering with rett syndrome come true!
Happy New Year!